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Time to toss the marketing “unitaskers”

Other college students binged Nickelback, Jaeger, and Natty Lite. I binged Good Eats by Alton Brown.

And Call of Duty.

…I didn’t go to class much.

If you don’t know Alton Brown, think of him as the cooking world’s Mr. Rogers.

Fewer puppets. More pastries.

He made cooking feel like a cross between a science experiment and a theatrical performance, with a healthy dose of fourth-wall breaking.

And he absolutely HATED “unitaskers”—kitchen gadgets that only do one thing.

The Unitasker Problem

I’m talking about:

  • Quesadilla makers—for the one night a year when you might crave a quesadilla.
  • Banana slicers—because knives are too dangerous?
  • Toast coolers—you love toast, but wish you could eat it faster.

Alton made a dramatic show of trashing these useless unitaskers, declaring that every piece of kitchen equipment must earn its place.

In fact, the only unitasker he kept was the humble fire extinguisher.

Why?

Because “safety trumps multi-functionality.”

Wise words.

That’s why I threw out my refrigerator and replaced it with a fire extinguisher. The milk might be warm, but at least we’re safe.

The Same Goes for Marketing

Alton’s attitude stuck with me for years.

And in the past, I applied that same mindset to marketing tools—not to save kitchen space, but to consolidate subscriptions and cut costs.

I tried using the most multi-functional email software…
All-in-one cold outreach tools…
Scheduling and automation hybrids…

Thing is, all-in-one tools tend to do many things poorly. And when they can’t deliver, you either waste time wrestling with them or pay extra for add-ons.

Case in Point: Mailchimp

I used to send emails through Mailchimp, and every day they launched some exciting new feature like…

“Hey bro, have you ever wanted to autoplay Nickelback songs in your emails?”

And I’d be like…

“Uh… no, I just want to send emails, my guy.”

But Mailchimp would say:

“Lol no prob but from now on we’re gonna ask if u wanna attach “How You Remind Me” to your signature line every time u login, babe. 😘”

And so on, until sending a simple email took 17 clicks.

I got so sick of that chimp’s mug that I wanted to Burn It To The Ground.

Then I realized…

Marketing Is NOT a Kitchen

We don’t need to save space. We need simple, effective solutions that make money.

Take my current email provider—they won’t even let me attach a Photograph. But guess what? I never sent them anyway.

I need my email software to…

send emails.

What Does Success Look Like?

Whenever I onboard a new client, one of my first questions is:

What does success look like to you?

Meaning—what’s the one result you want from your marketing?

Not:

“Give me a list of all the things you want to do right now and we’ll do them.”

Almost always, the answer comes down to $X in their bank account every month.

So we work backwards—what are the EXACT marketing steps to hit that goal?

No wasted time on multi-tasking campaigns that don’t generate results.

The Rockstar vs. The Drunk Uncle

Marketing isn’t complicated. Not if you avoid Big Box agencies that look like a Rockstar but perform like a drunk uncle at a small-town karaoke bar.

If Today Was Your Last Day, let’s make it count. Jump on my waitlist below, and I bet results aren’t as Far Away as you think.

Give me my Clickelback,
Nick

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