This morning, I unsubscribed from an email newsletter I used to love.
Why?
Because I started noticing a pattern—and not in a good way.
Every email followed the same tired structure:
The Formula That Ruins Good Content
- Start with a random fact or personal anecdote...Today I learned there’s a region in France—Zone Rouge—that’s still completely unlivable a hundred years after World War I.
- Ask a forced transition question…Now, what does this have to do with marketing?
- Stretch the metaphor to make a weak connection...Just like Zone Rouge, your website may be littered with metaphorical “arsenic” that’s “poisoning” your customers!
- End with an obligatory sales pitch…If you want to decontaminate your website, call my poison control hotline right here:
At first, I didn’t notice.
But over time, it became predictable. And predictability is the death of engagement.
The best content keeps you on your toes. You don’t quite know what’s coming next, but you trust that it’s leading somewhere interesting.
Formulaic writing does the opposite. The moment you recognize the pattern, your brain goes on autopilot. You start skimming instead of reading.
It’s like watching a horror movie where you already know exactly when the jump scares will happen. The tension is gone. The surprise is gone.
And then? You unsubscribe.
Suspension of Disbelief and Bad Marketing
Ever heard of suspension of disbelief?
It’s what makes stories work. You accept things that wouldn’t make sense in the real world as long as they follow the internal logic of the story.
Harry Potter flying a broom? Totally fine.
But what if Gandalf handed Frodo a Nimbus 5000 halfway through Fellowship of the Ring so he could jet over to Mount Doom?
Weird.
Or Uno reverse:
What if Hagrid showed up to fight Voldemort yelling “AND MY AXE!” before charging into battle like a Viking berserker?
(Side note: Yes, this would be awesome. Yes, I would fund the GoFundMe for Battleaxe Hagrid.)
The point is, breaking a story’s internal logic pulls people out of the experience.
It’s jarring. It feels off. And once that spell is broken, it’s hard to get it back.
Tacking on a sales pitch with flimsy logic—like “well THIS is what arsenic has to do with marketing”—does the same thing.
The Difference Between Good and Bad Marketing Writing
The difference between good and bad marketing writing isn’t just the words you choose.
It’s whether people stay with you all the way through.
Most people think persuasion is about convincing someone with logic. But in reality, it’s more about keeping their attention. If you lose their attention—even for a second—you lose the sale.
This is why bad storytelling kills conversions. It doesn’t matter if your offer is great. If you force an unnatural transition that makes people think, “Wait, what?”, you’ve already lost them.
Some of the best marketing doesn’t feel like marketing at all.
You don’t need a forced CTA. You don’t need a big metaphor that kind of makes sense if you squint at it sideways.
You just need something interesting.
Like this:
No hard sell. No weird transitions. Just good writing that makes people want more.
Enjoyer of arsenic, Avada Kedavra, and orcish raiding parties,
Nick
