Picture this:
You’re a work-at-home FDA employee.
For the past five years, you’ve overseen “hands-on” investigations into meatpacking plants and pharmaceutical companies with the hawk-eyed precision of an ace detective.
…All from the comfort of your Krispy Kreme donut-littered, particle board desk.
You’re basically, literally Captain America. Our nation and people would be lost without you.
You show up 17 minutes late to most Zoom meetings…
You “clock out” early on Friday for dog-related emergencies on the reg…
(he just really had to pee!)
You spend most afternoons mocking blue-collar workers on Reddit…
Life is good.
But one day, you get an email—and your world turns upside-down:
Subject: What did you do last week?
Please reply to this email with approximately five bullets describing what you accomplished last week and cc your manager.
Going forward, please complete the above task each week by Mondays at 11:59 PM ET.
Please do not send links, attachments, or any classified/sensitive information. If all of your activities are classified or sensitive, please write:
“All of my activities are sensitive.”
Your fists clench with rage, and you open your mouth to scream his name into the cold, dark night…
EEELLLLLLOOOOONNNNNNNNN!
If you’re on this email list, odds are you’re not a government employee.
Which means…
You can probably answer this question pretty easily, right?
So why don’t you do it?
List five things you got done last week.
I’ll wait.
[Five minutes pass]
Now, look at your list.
How Many of Those Things Actually Grew Your Business?
Oof.
Haha, we had a wonderful time mocking the 25% of stay-at-home government workers who actually got offended by that email, didn’t we?
But it doesn’t feel so swell when we’re put under the microscope…
Especially when the “microscope” turns into a magnifying glass… and you’re the bug.
Every business owner and freelancer I’ve ever met has this problem (including me).
You’re spinning so many plates and trying so many things, you don’t know which ones drive results and which ones are Pied Pipers leading you into a cave in the woods.
The Fix: The Three Cornerstones of Zero-Fluff Marketing
Over the past couple of years, I’ve tried to nail down the absolute essentials—the stuff that actually matters. Here’s what I came up with:
- Having a great offer. Your business is lost without one.
- Having a traffic source. You need fuel to pour on the fire.
- Having relentless email follow-up. Most people aren’t ready to buy after one interaction.
That last one is where most businesses drop the ball.
Most People Need More Than One Interaction to Buy
Listen, it’s not 1742 anymore. You don’t get married after a mere glimpse of Molly’s ankles by the town well and a few strongly worded letters to her father.
People need a couple of nice seafood dinners before they’re ready to leap into your arms.
Maybe a Netflix and chill…
Or a more wholesome “Kit-Kat and Chit-Chat.”
Either way, nobody buys after a single date. Customers need time before they commit.
We buy from people we like. And we like people we spend more time with.
And what do you know? Sounds like something email can take care of.
Whisper sweet nothings into your customers’ inboxes, and watch the sparks fly.
But Only If You Do It Right…
Most businesses send emails like a teenager writing a last-minute English paper—rushed, unfocused, and full of unnecessary filler.
They send one email, get no response, and then disappear.
Or worse…
They send a cold email begging for a sale, with no relationship built, and wonder why it flops.
Meanwhile, the smart businesses?
They’re showing up consistently.
They’re telling stories.
They’re proving their expertise.
They’re staying top of mind.
And when the time is right, customers buy from them.
The best part? It doesn’t take all day.
Set it up once, automate the right pieces, and let your emails do the heavy lifting.
Want to See How It’s Done?
I send daily emails that break down marketing into simple, no-fluff strategies that actually work.
They’re short.
They’re sharp.
And they will make you better at selling.
Join my list here:
And don’t worry, I’ll show you how to do this your way—without going full-throttle like me.
All of my activities are sensitive,
Nick
